Something Unique

Fri, 29 Jul 2005 03:21:01 GMT

Jeeezzzz I havent written in this thing for awhile...I think I stopped writing in here once I got a MySpace cuz now I just check that thing and never go on here anymore. BUT right now I am very very bored, so I thought...what the hell.
Im in Maryland right now visiting my mom and sisters. Just for 2 weeks, which is short compared to how long I am usually up here. But I didnt spend the whole summer this time cuz I would have rather worked and cuz of Paco...LOL I hate not seeing him everyday. I cant even stand being away from him for 2 weeks, so 2 months would have been awful. But YAY, LoL yesterday was our 2 months being together. Anywayz enuf bout him...
My mom is getting surgery on Tuesday, so that is the main reason why I came down, I guess also cuz I start school on Aug 22 and probably wont be back up to MD for awhile. UofA should be fun, mostly cuz Im not going to be living at home, but then again, Im going to be an hour away from where Paco is...its ok tho we will still see each other plenty.
Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm I go back home on Wed.....and MD so far is pretty fun I just freaking hate the time difference.....and I miss everyone.....

Thu, 09 Jun 2005 07:41:33 GMT

I got my nose pierced!!!

Tue, 07 Jun 2005 07:10:35 GMT

GOSH...I have problems...For once in a long ass time...well actually EVER cuz all the other guys I thought meant something just ended up being ASSHOLES...but for once I finally found the right guy for me, and I know he is cuz Julie says so, and Julie knows cuz she has been my best friend since 3rd grade. I mean there is no doubt that I care for Paco, but still every once in awhile I find myself pushing him away just a little. I dont do it on purpose, idk maybe its just a self-defense mode, cuz reality is, is that Im moving away to go to college, and when that comes, Ill be separated from him, which is going to be a hard thing.
Anyways, Im not going to think about it cuz I know itll work out between us :)...LOL it better!!!

GRAD

Fri, 20 May 2005 18:53:19 GMT

So school is out and graduation is on Tuesday! YAY!

Thu, 05 May 2005 06:26:15 GMT

Sooo yea...life has been good and bad. Good decisions and bad decisions (haha even tho they were fun)! Basically these past few weekends, me, Meghan, Julie and Mikki have been hanging out with people. OK so 4 weekends ago when my Dad was out of town, they stayed over. So, we went to Marco's house, and we thought we were only going to stay there for like 2 hours, but we stayed till 6 in the morning. The night consisted of a little bit of drinking, dancing the "Michael" with Paco, Martin and Truman, Waffle House, a cow with leprosy and Dominoes (the game)! So that was fun...then the following weekend, we decided to hang out with them again. That Saturday nite, me, Elissa, Julie and Mikki went to go see Amityville Horror, and after that, Me, Meghan, Julie and Mikki went to Denny's. HaHa Denny's was fun cuz Amanda got pushed into the window by Mikki. Then after that we went to Club Cabo AKA Club Baco! Wont even go into details there, just a FUN ASS TIME with a bunch of Mexicans. Then once again we went to Denny's. After Dennys we went to Marco's house cuz none of us cud really go home, when we got there it was about 3:30 in the morn. Well I dont really remember what happened there, all I know is that we chilled, watched Harold and Kumar, and I drank a full bottle of Bombay mixed with Bacardi. So Yea the night was over for me there. Fun night, but a BAD SUNDAY, cuz we got caught and cuz I had a day long hangover. Then, Mikki and I got lectured forever and a day...and I didnt get to go to Disneyland, but MIKKIS STUPID ASS did get to go! But she didnt get to go to prom with me :(
Prom was FUN! We all looked BEAUTIFUL! And now Paco and I are seeing each other. YAY!

P.S. PROPS TO MEGHAN for NOT getting caught and for having the FUNNEST night out all of us!

Sat, 16 Apr 2005 09:08:24 GMT

Ummmmmm...Im tired. I had to work til midnight tonite cuz we did something called a "Power Close," it wasnt the best thing but it also wasnt the worst thing. Completely done with Party America (cept for the ppl like Leticia and Stef and Erin)...I FINALLY quit. So now Im just working at Ulta, love it! Yea alot has happened recently. Good and Bad. Met new people through Leticia, like Marco, Paco, Sal, Chingy, Truman etc, all those guys. Fun Fun people. Last Saturday was one of the funnest nights this whole year! Mikki, me, Meghan and Julie went to a BBQ at Marco's house at like midnight and we got home at 6:30 in the morn. Just it was a fun night. I dont want to write all about it, pretty much everyone knows. Well not everyone, but whatever. HaHa but we are going to do it again this Saturday, so its going to be AwEsOmE!!
Made the decision of going to UofA...applied for housing, orientation and all that fun stuff.
WoW, but Im just tired of school. Im tired of the "drama" between people, Im tired of being judged by people, Im tired IDK of just everything bout high school, haha it sux ass. Im happy with my best friends tho...LOVE YA AMANDA, MEGHAN and JULIE!
The other nite playing basketball with Tim, Meghan and Amanda was fun...HAHA Meghan won around the world! Anywayz, Im going to go do the laundry at 2 in the morning. Good nite!

Fri, 01 Apr 2005 08:18:45 GMT

This week has been good I guess! I got back from MD on Monday night, and since then Ive worked every single night. Not that bad cuz its only from 5-10 at Ulta, then tomorrow I work at Party America from 3 to close.
So...highlights of this week:
- listening to the Gwen Stefani CD about 100 times...its the best (damn you Mikki)
- finding out from Stefani that all of Rubens friends have girlfriends and he doesnt...HaHa, Stef says he looks sad and stands out of the circle...therefore he is getting NO action...sux for some people...
- buying new shoes
- O, and of course, having Meghan as my Dad, Danny as my Mom, Mike as my Grandpa, Tim as my Grandma and Amanda as a Poodle (LoL)

OK...so the week wasnt too thrilling, but it wasnt boring as hell either.

LoL last weekend I told Joey on the phone that its a sad realization that you dont even have to be in love with someone in order for them to break your heart...I still think its sad, but then again Screw those type of people, no one should watse a single tear just because of those people.

Looking forward to the weekend!

Mon, 28 Mar 2005 06:25:28 GMT

Sooo Happy Easter. Ummmm Im sad, cuz I wasnt home for Easter so I cudnt go to my Tio Roni's house with all my family and shit. And Mikki and I cudnt kick ass in the Egg toss and Balloon toss. HAHA we got second and first place last year! Yeap fun times. Instead, my dad took his girlfriend and her daughter, so that made me feel SPLENDID! But this Easter was just kick back relax, I stayed in my Pjs all day and hung out with my mom. Finally watched Boondock Saints and Amityville Horror. LoL and at like 8 I decided I wanted to make cup cakes so my mom took me! Shit, LoL I made like 40 cupcakes...so ya know, if anyway wants any.

But anywayz, this trip to MD has been an interesting one. HAHA the first nite, I spent like an hour crying on the phone to Joey cuz I was upset bout something. THANX JOEY, love ya too death! Then on Friday, I went and visited McDaniel. Honestly, I loved it cuz Ive gone to small schools my entire life and I mean if I go there for once in a long ass time I can live in the same state as my mom and sisters. But IDK, I still want to go to UofA too...tough decision. Yea, also found out new things this w.e., interesting. And now, haha Im doing nothing! Soooo...byebye

Amanda and Meghan

Thu, 17 Mar 2005 07:03:05 GMT

Well...hmmm...this is the first spring break ive spent in AZ in a long ass time and IDK its not the funnest thing. HAHA actually the first few days sucked ass. Im working every day over spring break cuz now im working at Ulta (yay) and OOO that other place. But ummm yesterday and today were fun days. Yesterday haha I went with Amanda to Old Navy and spent money I shouldnt have spent, but then after that her and I went out to eat with Natalie and her boifriend at this place called Skip & Jan's. It ended up being a sports bar/pool hall. So after we ate our food (which was DELISH), Amanda and I played pool...HAHA funniest thing ever but also the most dangerous thing ever. Amanda tried hitting the white ball but instead she somehow managed to shoot the pool stick across the whole table and into a chair...lol it was the best thing, not to mention the guys playing next to us kept like staring at Amandas ass cuz she was wearing a skirt. HAHA it was fun times. Then tonite after I got out of work Amanda and Meghan randomly appeared and at first we were going to go to Rubens house just cuz but then we decided to go to Amys house. HAHA well first, Amanda crawled over to Amys window and saw that it was Amy, Emma and Vanessa, so we all went over there and I knocked on the window. HAHA we all started running and just drove around her neighborhood, and the second time, Meghan wrapped Amanda up in toilet paper and Amanda walked over there and stood in front of Amys window. But they werent there anymore. HAHA yea then we just talked for a lil bit and I had to be home cuz I thought my dad wud be mad if I was past curfew again but LOL he was sleeping!
SOOOOOO tomorrow, HAHA once again Im going to be with my girls and we are going to go HIKING with Mike! O SO EXCITED!

Just Thoughts

Wed, 16 Mar 2005 07:40:26 GMT

Why is life so confusing at times? And why can you go from being happy one moment to feeling like shit the next? I mean why can't you just find that one right person...why do you have to go through so many people? I mean I know that you learn from your experiences...but I mean in the end you are just either left lonely, hurt or watever. I mean the best feeling in the world is being loved by someone. Being with someone who wants you for you. I miss that...I mean I dont regret doing anything I did with anyone, especially this past "relationship." I learned things, and yea it kinda hurt in the end (even tho IDK wats the end LoL), but I mean it was a good and fun experience. IDK what the hell he thinks or anything, but IDK whether I like it or not theres always going to be some attachment. HaHa I'll always have the bunny rabbit tho...
But anywayz Im being a happy person and just getting past things. It really isnt that bad, it was just a new experience for me. But, I love my friends and they will always be there, so for that reason alone my life is GRRREAT!

Mon, 14 Mar 2005 06:13:44 GMT

EwWwWwWwWwWwWw....that word has a total new meaning for me.

Meghan, I do care...but IDK what can ya do???

Blah Blah Blah

Thu, 10 Mar 2005 05:21:17 GMT

LoL I stole this from Alexia's LJ, Im really bored right now...

(x) snuck out of the house
(x) gotten lost in your city
( ) saw a shooting star
(x) been to any other countries besides the united states (does Puerto Rico count???)

( ) had a serious surgery
(x) gone out in public in your pajamas
(x) kissed a stranger
(x) hugged a stranger
( ) been in a fist fight
( ) been arrested
( ) laughed and had milk/coke come out of your nose
(x) pushed all the buttons on an elevator
(x) swore at your parents
(x) been in love
(x) been close to love
(x) been to a casino
( ) been skydiving
( ) broken a bone
(x) been high
(x) skinny-dipped
(x) skipped school
(x) saw a therapist
(x) played spin the bottle
( ) gotten stitches
( ) drank a whole gallon of milk in one hour
(x) bitten someone

( ) been to Niagara Falls
(x) gotten the chicken pox
(x) kissed a member of the opposite sex
( ) kissed a member of the same sex
( ) crashed into a friend's car
( ) been to Japan
(x) ridden in a taxi
( ) been dumped
(x) shoplifted
( ) been fired
( ) had a crush on someone of the same sex
(x) had feelings for someone who didnt have them back (thats kinda funny...)
( ) gone on a blind date
(x) lied to a friend (very bad thing to do)
( ) had a crush on a teacher
( ) celebrated mardi-gras in new orleans
( ) been to Europe
( ) slept with a co-worker
( ) been married
( ) gotten divorced
( ) had children
( ) seen someone die
(x) had a close friend die
( ) been to Africa
(x) driven over 400 miles in one day
( ) been to Canada
( ) been to Mexico
(x) been on a plane
( ) seen the Rocky Horror Picture Show
( ) thrown up in a bar
( ) purposely set a part of myself on fire
( ) eaten Sushi
( ) been skiing/snowboarding
( ) met someone in person from the internet
( ) lost a child
(x) gone to college (havent atteneded but i have gone to a college)
( ) graduated college
( ) done hard drugs
( ) tried killing yourself
( ) fired a gun
(x) purposely hurt yourself
(x) taken painkillers
(x) love someone or miss someone right now

Tired

Mon, 07 Mar 2005 01:11:03 GMT

So this weekend, everyone was gone on Kairos, well not everyone, but the two most important people in my life were (Amanda and Meghan)...actually 3 most important people in my life (Mike, Amanda and Meghan)!!! So, life was not as fun because they were gone, but this weekend was still decent.
This past week was pretty cool...I stayed home from school on Monday, and that Bitch and I finally went and ate at Johnny Rockets (mmmmmmm DELICIOUS) and then we went to AZ Bridal Warehouse haha that was good times...after work on Monday, Ruben came over for awhile LOL and randomly gave me a huge white bunny rabbit with a pink bow. Ummmm spent Tuesday with Stefanie at the mall cuz for once we didnt work and I also took her to get her nose pierced....OUCH that needle was soooo fucking long...haha poor Stef her eyes got really teary. Then on Wednesday it was Sarah's Birthday (HAPPY 18th BIRTHDAY!)...so I took her balloons to her work then I got my eyebrows waxed YAY, and Ruben just came over for awhile and we talked outside and then I went over to his place on Thursday. Friday, I worked then after work, Natalie and I had nothing to do, so we just decided to go to Mill Ave to a book store and just chill. HAHA we were unlucky that nite, right when we go to Mill the traffic was horrible and it started to rain. So both of us got wet and when we finally sat down to read magazines in the book store a little announcement came on saying that they were going to close in 15 minutes. So that pissed us off, so we walked over to this hippy store and just checked things out there. Coolest stuff at that store, they sold bongs, Bob Marley stuff...just the randomest things. Then Natalie and I went over to Rubens house and we took Ruben and Robert to buy liquor but the store was closed so then we took them to Safeway. HAHAHAHA I LOVE NATALIE! When she is a bitch to people, she is hilarious, and she was being the biggest bitch to Robert and Ruben, it made my night!!! Saturday I worked all day and we had a meeting at work at like 8 gayest shit ever...then after work, after being bored as hell for awhile, I went and spent the nite at Julies...but then Ruben called and both Julie and I were supposed to go over there but IDK something with his mom and watever...but then I went over there at like 2 and Julie was going to go with me but she was pretty out of it...so I just ended up spending the nite over with Ruben. Then woke up at like 9, haha put gas in my car cuz the little light was flashing and came home and slept til 3 til Julie came over and we went to the mall...IDK my body just needs like 100 more hours of sleep and then I will be fine...so the weekend was just IDK unpredictable...HAHA and now Im going to go see Stefanie's boobs cuz she got her nipples pierced OUCH!!!

No School For Me

Mon, 28 Feb 2005 17:25:31 GMT

I woke up this morning and just kinda decided I didnt want to go school. Even tho I wake up almost every morning like that, I didnt go today, cuz I didnt want to, but also cuz my stomach does hurt.
This past week my mom was in town and that was fun I guess, I didnt get to see her that much cuz I work all the damn time. But last weekend, Elyse and Reina came down, so Saturday nite Mikki came with all of us to the Bamboo Club because we were celebrating Mary's birthday. That resturant had good food but they fucked up my order twice so I was kinda mad about that. Afterwards, Elyse, Mikki and I just kinda did whatever, then I drove Mikki home. Then Elyse and I went and got food, and I went and spent the nite at Stef's house. But before I actually went inside her house, HAHA I waited in the parking lot for her with Ruben and Robert for about an hour and a half. That was fun times. I was kinda out of it that nite. We were drinking some shit that kinda hit me hard, and Stef told me lata that when you take one shot of it, its like taking 2 and a half shots. She said it was something like Bacardi Gold 151 or something like that. Anywayz, the next morning went out to breakfast with about hundred people, wore a sweatshirt cuz I had to cover up my damn neck...then HEHEHE my mom and Reina let Elyse and I drive separately to Tucson. So, I drove Reina's car to Tucson with Elyse. HAHA we had fun, Elyse read her book to me and we blasted Shaina Twain. We are dorks, but who cares. So yea, then Sunday nite we went to the Sunday nite Slow Jams concert with Irene, and Joey came with us. It was awesome to see Boys II Men perform.
The rest of this past week, I did a bunch of things, went hiking on Monday and saw Phantom of the Opera with my mom and Elyse. I worked on Tuesday then worked out with Stef. Wednesday I GOT MY UPPER EAR PIERCED!!! It looks cool, I love it. It didnt hurt that much, I seriously thought I was going to cry, but it was just a lil pinch. Next are my eyebrows ;-)! Then lata that nite, Julie and I randomly went over to Tim's house, HAHA played a joke on him that didnt last that long. But it was fun just talking with them. Then, I worked Thursday and Friday and Saturday and Sunday. And I chilled with my mom and she left yesterday. And Now, my dad is out of town and Mikki stayed with me last nite and we went and saw Constantine, and before that we went to Julies house with Tim and Meghan. HAHA Gran Homo!
OOOO the highlight of this week tho besides my piercing, was I got my acceptance letter to McDaniel College and I also got an $8,000 scholarship a year. SOOOO now all I have to do is choose wheather or not I want to go there or just stick with the UofA, kind of a hard decision....

Thu, 17 Feb 2005 04:24:28 GMT

Sooooooo....these past 2 weeks have been weird but pretty fun. On Sunday after work, haha Stefanie and I randomly decided that we were going to go to her house and eat Mac&Cheese and watch the Notebook. So we did that and that was cool, even though I didnt get to finish the movie cuz I had to be home. Saturday nite I got in a lot of trouble cuz I was past curfew and my dad thought I abandoned Irene, and we told them we were at Amandas house but we really went to Ruben's. Then on Valentine's Day I had to work which sicked major ass, but after work was cool cuz Stefanie and I chilled with Ruben and Robert at Ruben's house just doing whatever. We kinda watched AVP. But thanx Amanda for the bear, I LOVE IT!!! I sleep with it, its soo COMFY!!!
Ummmmmmm then tonite was fun too. I picked up Stefanie after school and her and I went shopping. We both said we would have a limit of like 40 bucks, but between the 2 of us we each spent 200 bucks. But we bought 2 matching shirts...the one from Windsor is SOOOOOOOOO PRETTY, haha we both look good in it!!! Then after we left the mall, we went to eat pizza with Ruben and Robert. Crazy times. HAHA Stefanie and Robert were bickering the whole time and Ruben was getting in on it too...hahaha soo I just sat there basically laughing the whole time cuz it was funny! Its all good tho Stef, who did they call once they were both alone...haha thats right, US!
Anywayz, Stefanie is my new best friend...haha no but Im glad her and I are better friends, shes grrrreeeaattt!

POEMS

Sat, 12 Feb 2005 10:14:17 GMT

Cant sleep cuz I just got off the phone with Ruben a little bit ago and now I cant stop thinking about things. HAHA So to keep busy Im putting poems in here that I wrote a while ago...

Jealous of Me...Why?

Why are you jealous of me?
When you know he loves you
Am I such a threat to you
That you actually think I would stab you in the back?
Why am I competition to you?
When you know he loves you
Do you consider me something that
You have to live up to or
Something that you have to be better then at all times?
Am I that much better than you
Where it comes to the point
That you have to fight off loved ones
In order to get the attention you need?
Why do you believe others?
When you know he loves you
Walking with him...
Talking with him...
Spending time with him...
What others say isn't always true
When you know we were just talking about you
Why do you put up a front?
When you know he loves you
Dont hide behind others
Tell me what you feel
Take the stress off your chest
Face to face, I'll tell you what's true
Believe what you want
Listen to what others say
See what your eyes want to see
Don't blame it on us though
When you know he loves you
And when you know I'd never do such a thing
I know what the problem is...
These are excuses because
You don't know if you love him
The way he loves you.

EMPTINESS

First went Mom
Got up one day
Out of the blue
And vanished like a
Ghost in the night sky.

Memories lost...
Pictures to remember...
Never forgotten...
Piece of my heart gone
All that consumes that hole is
Emptiness.

Then went my sisters
Life here was complete
No one here worth staying for
Got up one day
Said can't handle this
Packed their bags
And went away like
The sun falling
Behind the mountains.

Tears rolling...
Hands trembling...
Lips quivering...
Piece of my heart gone
All that consumes that hole is
Emptiness.

Then went my true best friend
Strong, full of life
Got up one day
Too weak to survive
Slowly faded away
Like the ripples on
A silenced river.

Mind confused...
Questions unanswered...
Not sure what to do...
Piece of my heart gone
All that consumes that hole is
Emptiness.

Next will come Dad
Too busy to pay attention
Someone else to love
Slowly breaking away
Like the pieces of my heart.

Why me?
What did I do?
To deserve...
A heart full of emptiness?

HIM

I love him so much
And the feeling just won't fade...
Its been a while since we were together
But it feels just like yesterday...
I still lay awake at night
Waiting for the phone to ring
Hoping I hear your voice on the other side...
I still feel the touch of your skin
And the brush of your lips upon mine...
When I was with you
I wanted to be with you every minute
And even though we had many miles between us
We still had a close connection...
All I am saying
Is that there is and will never be anyone like you
Cuz you changed my life forever
And for that, I love you always.

FEELINGS AND REALITY

Sadness
Suffering
Death
All apart of this world
No way of stopping them
Only limiting them

Sadness is...
Rhythmic tears trickling down your cheeks...
Having thoughts that unsettle your mind...
Looking all around you and seeing only yourself...
Reaching out for something but finding nothing...
Grief...
Sorrow...
Misery...
Depression...
Suffering...
And death.

Suffering is...
A heart full of emptiness...
A mind full of worries...
A person full of problems...
A world full of debate...
Pain...
Anguish...
Distress...
Agony...
Sadness...
And death.

Death is...
Loss...
Passing away...
Demise...
And an end to one's sadness and suffering.

BAD NEWS

phone rings
voice on other end
good news...bad news
look our way
mouth cringing
red faced
holding back tears
hang up
no words
only frustration
body weak
light headed
on the verge
of a breakdown
sit on the couch
flood of tears
hands shaking
head nodding in disbelief
muffled words
only sobs
asking God...
why must you take everyone from me?
all this happening
while we watch you...
wondering...
how do we comfort you?

There is like 30 more, but im tired and yea I have to work tomorrow...

Wed, 02 Feb 2005 07:00:54 GMT

Hi! Life is busy...with just the usual stuff. I'm excited for college tho!!! And Im quitting my job as soon as I find another one...FINALLY!

Mikki turned 19 and got a tattoo...YAY!
Irene and I got stranded at a high school for 6 hours, but watching the wrestling was fun...haha short guy was cute!
Drove around everywhere with Amanda even tho she had no gas, HAHA and the windows had to be opened a few times!
Tim and I took a shower together....HAHA Just kidding....
And yea...thats what has been happening recently...I cant remember anything else right now...

Wow its February!

Reality Check

Wed, 19 Jan 2005 06:24:26 GMT

HAHA WOW my eyes have just been reopened.
Since I was in first grade, my parents have been divorced. So like any other normal kid, I didn't grow up living with two parents. My mom lives in Maryland with my step-dad...and when I was in 5th grade, my middle sister moved up to Maryland...then when I was in 8th grade my oldest sister moved up there too. Anyways, my point is, is that people shouldnt take advantage of their family members or stop talking to them EVER.
My dad's girlfriend and her sister used to be closer then ever, but once my Dad came into Esther's life (my dads gf), her sister started to get jealous cuz Esther started to do things without her. Then last New Years I think, my Dad and Esther went to a dance and they didnt invite Esther's sister. Somehow, by not getting invited, that toally pissed off Virgie (Esthers sister), and ever since that night she has not spoken one word to Esther. Now, Esther's god-daughter is getting married, and a couple of weeks ago she told Esther that she wasn't going to invite her to the wedding because Esther's sister said that she would not go if Esther was there. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT. Ok first, the whole not talking to one another is pathetic, especially since there is no good reason. But I mean come on. I feel like going up to Esther's sister tomorrow and saying, "I know how you feel not having your sister around." I mean, they work together and see each other every day, and they just ignore one another.
FUCK people, not having half of your family around is seriously hard to cope with. No matter how much you talk to them on the phone or see them every so often, its not the same.
For so long, Ive seriously hidden how I feel about alot of things. And this was one of them...that I miss my Mom and Sisters to DEATH...

WTH

Tue, 11 Jan 2005 05:41:23 GMT

So I really dont know what the hell is going on. All I know is that my mind needs rest and my body needs a bottle of aspirin and vodka!

Christmas break was my last break for a while from my life. My life kinda sux ass right now. Im stressed with work and school...constantly trying to do better in school just so my Dad will lay off cuz he isnt satisfied with B's...work, wow Im just there way too much, I either work 3 or 4 days a week and either one day or both days of the weekend and since Im manager its just more stressful cuz not only do I have to watch for the way I work but I also have to watch the way the other girls work. Im so fucking easy on them and still they complain and blah blah blah.

For one day I just want to be left completely alone. I don't want to hear my dad telling me how I need to start applying for scholarships...I don't want to hear my teachers lecture us about useless shit...I don't want to hear about who is a bitch at work...HAHA I don't even want to hear me moan and complain. I just want to close my eyes, lay down and fall alseep. I just want some fucking peace.

I hate thinking about how my life is going to change in just a matter of months. I mean of course it is exciting and I can't wait, but just for now I want to focus on now, not tomorrow or the next day.

LOL I probably sound like some psycho depressed freak...believe me Im not...if you know me, then you know I get stressed out easily and that I worry too much, so that is all this is.

Its just one of those days...

Copying Tim (kinda)

Sun, 02 Jan 2005 07:27:04 GMT

The BEST day this year was when Me, Meghan and Amanda went to Burger King that one day. I mean I have had some fun ass days this year in 2004, but that day was just soooooo fun cuz it was just the 3 of us, HAHA and we all just acted GOOFY! We got to do it again this year!

The BEST week this year was probably the week of Ocean City. I mean we did a bunch of things, but what made it fun was just the pure fact that me, Elyse, Mikki and my sis got to stay in a condo by ourselves away from home for the first time ever! But we had good times tho!

The BEST night this year was well I can't say it...but the other best nite was when we all went to Denny's. It was me, Mikki, Elyse, Angelica, Ben, Jon and their friend Leighman. WE laughed so much that nite!

Truth is, all the days this year were good in some way cuz I spent it with the best people...Prom, Days in Tucson with Irene, Summer in Maryland, Nights just Mikki and I chillin', Hanging out with Elyse, and of course EVERY day when I see Amanda, Meghan, Tim, Mike or Julie!

The WORST day was the day when I found out my sister made out with Dan at prom haha on my birthday...

The WORST week...wow had alot of those...

The WORST night...don't really remember...

The MOST UNLUCKY WEEKEND tho was the weekend in Tucson with Irene...seriously everything went wrong for us...her ex boyfriend tore his ACL, the car broke down on us in the middle of the road, it rained like crazy after that and who else knows what went wrong...just HORRIBLE...

So this year of 2004 was a crazy ass one!

Understand?

Thu, 30 Dec 2004 05:59:51 GMT

Isnt it weird how you go from really liking someone to just being really annoyed by that person? How does that happen? Im not saying that you hate that person, Im just saying that IDK you can still stand them, just not as much as you thought!

HaHa...Irene understands!

Still in Maryland...

LoL Im not really high...I just like that face...

CHRISTMAS LOVE

Sun, 26 Dec 2004 09:01:50 GMT

Well ummmm right now Mikki, me, and my sis are sitting here talking and whatever and we were talking about love songs so here are 4 that at least one of us LOVES...

"Cheek to Cheek" by Fred Astaire (Alyssa)

Heaven, I'm in Heaven,
And my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek.

Heaven, I'm in Heaven,
And the cares that hang around me thro' the week
Seem to vanish like a gambler's lucky streak
When we're out together dancing, cheek to cheek.

Oh! I love to climb a mountain,
And to reach the highest peak,
But it doesn't thrill me half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek.

Oh! I love to go out fishing
In a river or a creek,
But I don't enjoy it half as much
As dancing cheek to cheek.

Dance with me
I want my arm about you;
The charm about you
Will carry me thro' to Heaven

I'm in Heaven,
and my heart beats so that I can hardly speak;
And I seem to find the happiness I seek
When we're out together dancing cheek to cheek.

"Love Hurts" by Jon B. (All)

Sometimes love can feel
Like the closest thing to heaven
Sometimes love can feel
Like you've been run over by a car
Yes it can it's the strangest thing I know
Make you feel warm when you feel cold
And if you dowm on happiness
You better get used to the taste of sadness
Cause love can sure hurt sometimes

Love hurts and it don't
Love don't always work
Love ain't all it seems
It feels good but it stings
Love hurts and it don't

Some people will tell you
It's the best thing for the heart
Yes they will what they fail to tell you
It can tear your life apart
But you know it's as sweet as a summer rain
But it can hit you like a train
Fill your heart with pain
Fill your heart with pain
Ooh everybody sing, everybody sing

Love hurts and it don't
Love don't always work
Love ain't all it seems
It feels good but it stings
Love hurts and it don't

When you know that you're alive
Cause you feel so much pain
When you feel you can't survive
But you make it anyway
When it feels too good to stop
But it hurts too much to say
Then you know, yes you know
You gotta know love hurts
It hurts and it don't

Love hurts and it don't
Love don't always work
Love ain't all it seems
It feels good but it stings
Love hurts and it don't

"More Than Love" by Los Lonely Boys (Mikki)

We were in love before
But now it's so much more
Cause when I kiss your lips I can't explain
What I feel in my heart for you

I don't know what I'd do
Baby if I lost you
Cause I've been without you and I know how it feels
And I can't be alone anymore

I know its more than love
Baby I can feel it
When I'm close to you
I know its more than love
Baby, do you?

Maybe my words don't explain
Why I'm feeling this way

Maybe my words don't explain
Why I'm feeling this way

I don't know what I'd do
Baby if I lost you
Cause I've been without you and I know how it feels
And I can't be alone anymore

I know its more than love
Baby I can feel it
When I'm close to you
I know its more than love
Baby I can feel it
When I'm close to you
I know its more than love
Baby, do you?

"My Boo" by Usher Feat. Alicia Keys (Adreana)

There's always that one person
That will always have your heart
You'll never see it coming
Cause you're blinded from the start
Know that you're that one for me
It's clear for everyone to see
Ooh baby ooh you'll always be my boo

I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock
I don't know bout cha'll
But I know about us and uh
This is the only way
We know how to rock

Do you remember girl
I was the one who gave you your first kiss
Cause I remember girl
I was the one who said put your lips like this
Even before all the fame and
People screaming your name
Girl I was there when you were my baby

It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man who's in my life
You will always be my boo

Yes I remember boy
Cause after we kissed
I could only think about your lips
Yes I remember boy
The moment I knew you were the one
I could spend my life with
Even before all the fame
And people screaming your name
I was there and you were my baby

It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I was in love with you when we were younger
You were mine my boo
And I see it from time to time
I still feel like my boo
And I can see it no matter
How I try to hide my boo
Even though there's another man who's in my life
You will always be my boo

My oh, My oh, My oh, My oh, My Boo

It started when we were younger
You were mine my boo
Now another brother's taking over
But its still in your eyes my boo
Even though we used to argue it's alright
I know we haven't seen each other
In awhile but you will always be my boo

I LOVE everyone...especially Meghan, Amanda, Tim, Mike, Julie, Irene, & Elyse...

INTENSE

Thu, 23 Dec 2004 06:05:53 GMT

Just got back from Tucson today...was there since Saturday. Had a fun fun time. Basically I went to Irene's winter formal and stayed out til like 2 or 3, haha I got asked to dance by some lil freshman guy who was really geeky looking, LOL but Im not a mean person so I danced with him for a couple of dances, then after the dance a whole bunch of people went to IHOP and it took me 45 minutes to get my order of toast...went to Panda Express with Jesus and Don, the most random thing that happened this weekend, it wasnt all that awkward to see Jesus, it was actually kinda nice, IDK I still like him, but itll never work out cuz well you all know why...went to Winterhaven with my Nina, Irene and her friend Adam, that was cool cuz it was a huge ass neighborhood full of the coolest Christmas decorations...took pictures FINALLY with Irene (they came out really cute), we bought pink playboy bunny hats (YES from the SWAPMEET, haha like people said, a very GHETTO MEXICAN THING TO DO), so we took the pics with the hats...then the rest of the time we just hung out, it was fun.

Scary to think that this time next year I am probably going to be living in Tucson.

Anyways, tonite, me, my sis, Meghan, Amanda and Julie went to see Phantom of the Opera. BEST movie ever...like Julie said, it was INTENSE!!! I almost love this movie as much as I love Grease. O YEA, I got Grease on DVD for Christmas, BEST GIFT EVER!!! Thanx Irene, Nina, Nino and Fernandito! So YAY in a week I will be in Maryland and Meghan will be in Iowa. But Meghan was not supposed to leave the state ever again for unknown reasons, but its all good cuz Im going to be in E-burg not Tucson and Meghan is gonna be in M-town!!!

MeRrY ChRiStMaS & HaPpY NeW YeAr!!!

Nothing In Particular

Fri, 10 Dec 2004 06:16:55 GMT

Seriously, why can't people just enjoy life? I mean is it really that hard to do? Of course, life is difficult and everyone has their problems, but when it comes down to it, there is just no way of escaping that. So instead of dwell on it, people should just deal with it. HAHA believe me, I do exactly what alot of other people do. I tend to dwell on things and let them bring me down. But personally, I am tired of doing that. It just gets old and it is a total waste of time. I figure, why dwell on bad things? I mean there is just no good reason to do that. Unless you like feeling depressed, which I don't. I figure,if something bad happens to me, I should try to deal with it as best as possible and get over it as quickly as possible. Sadly, that can not always happen. But Im going to try my best to make it that way.

"Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment."

"Fear less, hope more;
Whine less, breathe more;
Talk less, say more;
Hate less, love more;
And all good things are yours."

Life is like a beautiful melody, only the lyrics are all messed up!

Life is a mixture of sunshine and rain; laughter and pleasure; tear drops and pain...

HaHa

Sat, 04 Dec 2004 09:35:50 GMT

"Sluts With GOOD Personalities"

I love all of you guys!!!